I Rule My World!

A conversation on faith and prayer ensued after the two-hour Bible Study at the Indo twins’ house. Most of the time, the comments sparred between the two Bible-buff guys, Frank and Kuya Allen. I listened intently, and marvel on how much a conversation like this move me, and yet at the same time, rock me with overwhelming emotions of guilt and confusion. It all boiled down to one thing: How is my relationship with God?

Ever since I came here in Berrien Springs—nothing else occupied my mind but to get high grades, earn money, pay my tuition, earn more money, be popular, and possibly, meet the “one”. I threw myself into the busy grind of scholarly pursuits, and have forgotten, in the process Who brought me here in the first place.

I constantly live in fear. Fear that I won’t have the money I need for the coming semesters, fear that I am not good enough with the path I have chosen, fear that I would fall for someone I shouldn’t, fear that I’m not pleasing my bosses…Insane fear, but fear just the same. And I never really realized that, until that conversation. Kuya Allen would always conclude every conversation with “everything is messed up!” and I have the feeling I can very well say the same comment about my life.

Where is that faith I used to have, that kind of faith that would take the plunge and would leap into the unknown, with only God to hold on to? Where is that faith that would daily walk with God, and would be willing to say, “Hey, God, everything is completely in your hands”?

Where?

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 16th, 2008 at 10:55 am and is filed under thoughts on God. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.